January 03, 2014

Funny ›

Learning to Say No

Woman reading book laughing

Some of us are really good at cornering people and forcing them to do things they don’t want to do. Listen how they work... 

“…ool, hey, can you drive Nana over to such and such’s place? I promise it won’t take long, and it’ll be fun… besides, you haven’t spent time with Nana in a long time!”

And then before you can get a good excuse, or protest going, they’ve started your car and practically shoved both you and Nana inside.

And least we need to be reminded, Nana isn't the Nana who's easy to laugh and vibe with. No, Nana's the Nana who barks at you, doesn't want you to touch her and wanders around so you have to go hunt her down... Nana is no easy quick favor. In fact, this Nana hates you.

So How Do We Say No?

The simplest way would be to Just Say No. But then, taking from the above example, we chose not to make a scene, make a spectacle of the situation and cause embarrassment or pain to those sometimes indirectly involved.

Skipping over the straightened tie, you know... the "excuse me, let me get back to you," or the "I need to think on this a bit..". Here are a few odd-ball effects I’ve picked up.

The Vacated Stare

This is a look that says it all. It’s a blank look that has a tendency to make many back up and rethink, "umm… maybe we shouldn’t ask her."

The Potty Break

“Excuse me, I need to use the restroom.”
“Oh, but there’s one upstairs.”
Back to you: “Oh, no, wouldn’t think of it. I’m going over there/across the street/Sam’s Bar…" The point is to get out of there, calling over your shoulder, “I’ll be right back.”

The Meltdown

Now you’ve got to be a good actor or actress for this one. Get impromptu LOUD. “Is that my sweater you have on!?!” Now you can be five feet, a hundred pounds and male, talking to your six foot, three-hundred pound Aunt Martha, but don’t let it impede the act. Stay with it. “That’s my sweater! You never gave it back!” Depending on Aunt Martha’s temperament you may want to either get even louder and angrier, or break down and fall out in the floor, bawling out crying. Or if that doesn’t work, try this one…

The Mumble

That’s right. Just start mumbling. They’ll ask, “what’s wrong with you?” And you just keep on mumbling… turning around and mumbling as you head straight for the door. Or how about this one…

The One Little Favor

You say, “Oh sure, but can you hold me down. Just a thousand. That’s all I need. Can’t promise I can get it back to you, but if you could do me this one little favor, then I can take Nana over there…” (Now of course if you get the thousand, I say it’s worth it! Take Nana!)

Okay, now it's your turn to try this out!

OSAAT Entertainment
OSAAT Entertainment


Founded in 2008, OSAAT Entertainment connects passionate writers and savvy readers, building a literary community, one story at a time.